You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery