i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
