Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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