Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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