It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
