Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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