...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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