Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize