I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
