Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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