But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
