I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
