Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
