I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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