no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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