yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
