Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
