i just made my gag reflex go away.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
