sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I looked at my own cervix.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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