You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
