She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
