I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
