everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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