Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
