how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize