tell your sister to shave her snatch
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
