WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
