i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Boobs are out for the taking
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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