dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
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She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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