why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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