oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
People in love make me want to vomit
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
