Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
