i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just had sex bonerless
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize