No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
