You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
