tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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