He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
