before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
