Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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