why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
