Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
