I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
