So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
