Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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