So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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