Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.