so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me