what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her