this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.