yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.