Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier

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(519): View more from Ontario

When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

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(919): View more from North Carolina

dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

Whats the count minus fat chicks?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.

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