does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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