the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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