how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
