Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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