She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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