this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
