Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
