I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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