Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
