I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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