There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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