I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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