So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
