i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
